... of not sleeping through the night.
... of happy little baby faces when I come home!
... of dirty diapers.
... of wearing matching ties to church.
... of daily teamwork with my wife.
... since I could fit three people into the backseat of my car!
Wow, I really need to write more often! Therefore, as compensation to all my (3) readers out there, slide show!
Month One:
FrogLegs arrives with impeccable fashion sense, ready to take on the world with his no-nonsense approach to the combination of orange and purple, to the delight of rural high school mascots nationwide.
Month Two:
Having the mentorship of Fishsticks (yours truly), FrogLegs develops an innate gift for American football. Not content with playing every position with poise and grace, his elan inspires him to try his hand at being the ball. This solves his tendency to fumble, and he begins a lifelong career of sports excellence, taking his Pee-Wee team to the Super Bowl and defeating the Steelers in the first quarter.Month Three:
At the Iowa State Fair, FrogLegs (with the help of ChillyFreeToes) saves the lives of hundreds of children and their families. When a rogue chicken breaks out of the petting zoo, wanders into the "Nuclear Energy: The Rays of Tomorrow" exhibit, and emerges as a 6 foot (2 meters) tall maneater bent on wreaking havoc among the 'eaters of fowl,' FrogLegs courageously has his mom ask if he can pose on him, thus subduing the abomination AND winning blue ribbon in the poultry category. (It is also at this time that FrogLegs realizes that his parents are complete and utter goobers.)Month 4:
FrogLegs decides to explore the culinary arts. Distilling the knowledge of culinary greats such as Juila Child and the Naked Chef, FrogLegs is seen here working on a cake for his daddy's birthday. (Editor's Note: The BBQ sauce was initially scoffed at, but critics agreed that they had never had a better BBQ-Vanilla cake with chocolate icing. Paula Dean is rumored to be in talks for rights to the recipe.)Month Five:
Halloween is always a special time in a child's life. Here FrogLegs can be seen in one of his FOUR costumes chosen for this year. Unbeknowst to his parents, FrogLegs began preparations two months earlier, crying for hours at night until his parents would read him chapters from Rich Dad, Poor Dad or play Zig Ziggler audiobooks. With careful study and business acumen, FrogLegs was able to increase his "candy profits" 400% over the average newborn by visiting each house four times in different costumes. Unfortunately, FrogLegs realized too late that he couldn't eat solids, and had to liquidate his assets.
To Be Continued...
