Your New Life

Preparing for baby is such a spiritual undertaking for me right now. I've been so impressed by the process of change in one's life and how that is accomplished. ChillyFreeToes and I finished a birthing class at the university's hospital a few weeks ago and they taught us about the physical changes that are going on inside her to accompany and eventually give birth to our little boy.

Since my program of choice is biomedical engineering, I was able to look at the process of labor in a very intellectual fashion and it was awe-inspiring. I study tissue remodeling, which means I look at how parts of our bodies do things that in a man-made material (metal, plastic, etc.) would cause them to crack, bend, and fail.

When you exercise, your body remodels itself, in sometimes drastic ways, to accommodate the increased needs for oxygen, energy, and waste removal. Patients with traumatic brain injuries in some cases can relearn the lost knowledge only because of the remodeling that occurs in the brain to store and retrieve the new replacement knowledge. Those guys who break stacks of bricks with their hands cause micro-fractures in their bones that make them stronger when they heal, so they can break more bricks. Only from stress do we adapt through change.

Our bodies teach us something important: there is always hope. For instance, I haven't run a 5K in 7 years, but this year I started running again. I also had a discectomy two years ago and I should limit the stress on my back. But I'm amazed at how much I've improved in the last couple of months! Through regular exercise, I'm back to running a 5K (though not very fast yet)!

I'm also noticing that my back is stiffer and I have more pain there after running. I'm finding it hard to make quick movements (like when I trip) that cause my back to bend. But I want to be able to lift my children, to let them ride on my shoulders, and be like the Daddy I remember having.

So where is the hope for my back and me? One of the things that I've learned in my studies is that there are thresholds: limits or boundaries where once crossed, the original state can never be restored. Physically, you can bend a bone to the breaking point, but if you don't go further the bone will rebound to its original shape. Once you cross that point, though, the bone fractures and the original shape is lost until a surgeon fixes the bone.

In life, there are thresholds as well- points of "no return" where once we cross that threshold we cannot reclaim the blessings we would have had available to us. There are times when a relationship or opportunity are lost from us forever. Everyone has those moments in life and the fewer we cause, the happier we are. That is why we are given commandments and instruction. They point the way to happiness and peace, and ensure that we have the least amount of regret when we follow them.

My back and I are the consequence of something: poor posture, birth defect, accident, etc. Either by my choice or chance, my back can no longer take the pounding of jogging for long periods of time. It's hard to admit this limitation of mine, but it's there and denying will only inflame the problem. I cannot force reality (or my back!) to bend to my wishes, but there's still hope!

When we incur the consequences of sin or circumstance, we can accept it or deny it. To deny it, we have to drown out all the signals that the universe sends us that say "Um, you might want to rethink that..." Pride comes before a fall because pride causes instability in life: there's nothing mystic about it. When we accept the limitations the Lord has placed before us, then we can move forward and progress. We change. It is only then that we see the hand of the Lord preserving us through our lives.

Sometimes that change is deep and life-altering. But we can know that it will be for good if we allow the Lord to work His will in us. That is what conversion means: a change at the very nature, the core of being. Repentance is a cessation of something, but conversion is the transformation of the repentant.

In church today, one of the speakers was discussing trials and saying that we need to accept the Lord's will for us -not because we believe that accepting a trial will make it vanish!- but because we have faith that the Lord loves us and knows what is best for us better than we do. I was struck by how true that has been for my life. I've often said "Okay, I get that you want me to be humble right now, so if I accept this is from You, Lord, You have to promise to take it away." Now I know that accepting is the only way my trials have any benefit to me!

I was inspired by this video of a fellow blogger: my wife has been following her for about a year now and this video tells the remarkable story of her acceptance and blessing of her new life.



Her husband and her were in a plane crash and she suffered a large percentage of burns on her body. While her body has suffered irreparable damage, she can see the blessings that came from her experience.

Her example is dramatic and profound. My example is less significant, and I include it only because it is easier to relate to. I can no longer be a jogger. But the fundamental motivation for my jogging is still there and I can fulfill it in other ways! I can swim or bike. I can take up cross-country skiing in the winter. By accepting my limitation, I can see it for what the blessing that it is and not as a regret.

I can change and the Lord will bless me through that. In all things, He will lead me to joy and happiness, if I will let Him do so. That is the change that we all need and that is the purpose of our life on earth. I can't wait to start!